Why America Is Going Down The Tubes… February 29, 2012

Everybody’s favorite fat fatheaded drug addict, the bouncing baby-brain of the Republican Tea Party, that wishful wonder who vomits hatred, bigotry, and illogic as easily as the rest of us breathe, has demonstrated once again how and why he’s leading America down into the sewers of irrelevance, ignorance, and genuine, deep, profound stupidity. That would, of course, be Rush Limbaugh, disgusting depraved diva of the right.

The other day a Georgetown University law student named Sandra Fluke testified before a House committee about hormonal contraception and the medical need it serves for purposes other than preventing pregnancy.

Her appearance and testimony followed the perversion of the issue by Rep. Darrell Issa, who held a hearing on President Obama’s regulation requiring religious-affiliated entities to provide contraception in their health care plans. Issa and his Republican Tea Party conspirators invited no women to testify and explicitly refused Ms. Fluke from testifying, declaring that the issue was religious liberty and not contraception.

It is rumored, though unconfirmed, that after the hearing Mr. Issa swallowed a Viagra paid for by his taxpayer-funded health insurance policy and banged an intern in the chapel as an expression of his religious liberty.

And here’s what the fat boy, the sucker of microphones, the Pied Idiot of the Republican Ratboys of the Raging Right, had to say about Ms. Fluke:

"What does it say….that she essentially says that she must be paid to have sex. What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right?It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex, she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the tax payers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? The pimps."

Ms. Fluke gives honest testimony about an important issue to a Congressional Committee and the best argument, the best reasoning that the bouncing druggie can provide to his legions of brain dead followers is to pervert her testimony and call her a slut.

That’s all he’s got. Name calling. No facts. No thought. No logic. No reason. Just schoolyard name calling. Just ‘nyah nyah nyah slut’.

And for this behavior his corporate advertisers see that he makes tens of millions of dollars a year. For leading the country into a sewer of ignorance, hatred, bigotry, and unfettered stupidity, his sponsors, who apparently do not care for America, do not love the country, are not in the least patriotic, reward him handsomely.

Fat boy sucks up the money he’s paid to act like an idiot. He gets on his knees every day before his golden microphone, opens his mouth, and spews out hatred and sucks in money.

So who’s the real whore?

And what does it say about all his johns – corporations and listeners? Real flag wavers, every last one, waving flags that look like Old Glory, but are made of a tissue of lies and ignorance and greed that disgraces the real flag and shames the nation.

It’s simple. If you listen to Limbaugh, if you take him seriously, if you believe anything he says, you hate the United States of America.

#

A New Award: The Lion’s Mane Furry Badge Of Courage February 28, 2012

The Lion, in a fit of energy brought on by a mixture of Vanilla Ice Cream and Kahlua, has created a new award, as the title indicates. (I mean, why say it again? That’s what headlines are for, right?)

I digress. As often as possible.

The new award awards anyone who exhibits great courage and heart in the blogosphere by revealing aspects of the self that can benefit the rest of us, or some part of us humans – pick a number. But more than that, the awardee girds up his or her loins*, plucks up his or her courage, and charges out into the world to do good in spite of his or her problematic self. (Yeah, I know, I know. It’s the Kahlua, but I want to get this out.)

The first award goes to a redhead dynamo who lives in Winnetka, Illinois and may have worked almost as many jobs as the Lion. But that’s not what the award is for. Nope. This young woman (she claims 51 – The Lion’s thinking she’s lying and is really thirty or so) suffers from… well, here, she tells it better:

I can and frequently do spend days not interacting with my friends in a “real” way.  I’m scared of travel.  I’m scared of flying.  I’m scared of just about anything outside my door.  I have panic attacks.   I believe there is nothing more annoying than an emergency room doctor saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, it’s all in your head.

This frightened bit of redheaded fluff decided to do something about it, and vowed to leave the house and go meet all three hundred some odd of her Facebook friends last year. And went and did it. That’s tough fluff. Very tough fluff. She blogged it all at her blog (well where else would she blog?) Go look.

Because she was profiled in a WordPress promo piece she no longer has some three hundred FB friends. Last I noticed she had about five thousand, almost overnight.

She will therefore no doubt have forgotten our amusing exchange of yesterday, but nonetheless, Arlynn Presser of Winnetka, Illinois, is hereby awarded the very first Lion’s Mane Furry Badge of Courage, suitable for wearing with dress clothes, casual clothes, and bikinis.

Congratulations, Ms. Presser! You da winnah! You can pick up your Badge of Courage, giftwrapped and all combed and coiffed, next time you’re in the neighborhood.

* Does anyone know if girls have loins? Men always get the loin line in adventure stories and various holy books, but dames?

[Yeah, no more ice cream.]

#

The Lion’s Den… Or Living Room February 27, 2012

I’ve been doing some redecorating or  remodeling or just sheer guesswork about colors and such. One result is the living room, redone in all it’s glory.

And what the hell, here’s the real Lion’s Den, freshly redone with a brandly new bed, where he sleeps and writes and listens to NPR in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep.

Whaddya think, too many books? I think of it as smart clutter. Or colorful  intellectual snobbery. Or just a comfortable place to sleep. I’ll probably die in this room. Someday.

#

Pope Santorum? Bringing Back The Inquisition February 20, 2012

The last thing this country needs is a wannabe Catholic Pope sitting in the Oval Office of the White House and governing from a corrupt and ignorant ideological theology. But that’s what millionaire ex-Senator Rick Santorum is offering. A sampling of his remarks, including the latest accusation that President Obama isn’t governing according to the Christian Bible, never mind what the Constitution says:

Obama’s agenda is "not about you. It’s not about your quality of life. It’s not about your jobs. It’s about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology," Santorum told supporters of the conservative Tea Party movement at a Columbus hotel.

When asked about the statement at a news conference later, Santorum said, "If the president says he’s a Christian, he’s a Christian."

“America is a country that was founded on the concept that our rights come to us from our creator, come to us from God. He doesn’t say just do whatever you want to do with them, in fact he has laws we must abide by. In our case we have civil laws, but our civil laws have to comport with higher laws,” he said.

In 2005, then-Senator Santorum put forth an amendment to the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program to expand then-current law to allow religious organizations that are recipients of federal funds under the Social Services Block Grant to discriminate in employment based on religion.33 The New York Times has referred to him as “the nation’s pre-eminent faith-based politician.”

“I knew when I won [my Senate race] that I had a constituency of one [God]. [My experience in the Senate] opened up to me why I was there and what God had called me to do.”

In 2001 then-Senator Santorum proposed incorporating pro-intelligent design language into the No Child Left Behind bill, that portrayed the theory of evolution as not widely accepted. He said that anytime evolution is taught, children should also be taught why the subject “generates so much continuing controversy”. In a recent interview he said, “Science will only allow things in the classroom that are consistent with a non-creator idea of how we got here, as if somehow or another that’s scientific.”

“As long as abortion is legal, we will never have rest because our law doesn’t comport with Gods law,” he said. Santorum signed a “personhood” pledge that invokes religion and “God” and states, “I oppose assisted suicide, euthanasia, embryonic stem cell research, and procedures that intentionally destroy developing human beings. […] Abortion and the intentional killing of an innocent human being are always wrong and should be prohibited. […] If elected President, I will work to advance state and federal laws and amendments that recognize the unalienable right to life of all human beings as persons at every stage of development, and to the best of my knowledge, I will only appoint federal judges and relevant officials who will uphold and enforce state and federal laws recognizing that all human being at every stage of development are person with the unalienable right to life.”

Santorum said marriage equality is ”messing with the basic family unit.” And supports a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage. Santorum said the overturning of sodomy laws is not constitutionally based. “The state is not doing a service to the child and to society by not putting that child in a home where there is a mother and a father. […] This is common sense. This is nature. And what we are trying to do is defy nature because a certain group of people want to be, want to be affirmed by society. And I just don’t think that’s to the benefit to society or the child. […] I don’t believe in same-sex adoption nor do I believe in same-sex marriage,” he said.

His campaign website states that he wants to “Restore conscience clause protections for health care workers.”

“One of the things that you don’t know about Obamacare and one of the mandates is they require free prenatal testing in every insurance policy in America. Why?  Because it saves money in health care. Why? Because free prenatal testing ends up in more abortions and therefore less care that has to be done because we cull the ranks of the disabled in our society.”

And to prove Santorum is not just about imposing his ignorant theocratic ideology on everyone in  America, here’s a quote from Ohio demonstrating his environmental chops:

Rick Santorum, at a campaign stop in Ohio, criticized liberal environmentalists that put the "Earth above man."

"Unlike the Earth, we’re intelligent, and we can actually manage things," Santorum said. In reference to liberals, Santorum said, "When it comes to management of the Earth, they are the anti-science ones."

This is the guy who wants creationism taught in the schools.

When America looks like Rick Santorum, then there will no longer be America. In its place will be something sick, psychotic, diseased, ignorant, and murderous. It will look like Europe during the height of the  madness of the Inquisition. And the country is beginning to look a lot like him and his kind, from the lowliest Protestant fundogelical sect to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Ignorance and stupidity and evil know no religion, but both are at home there, in force.

Time  to take up a collection to send Santorum to Rome so he can run for Pope in the thirteenth century.

#

Meet Frank, Who Lives In My Garden February 19, 2012

 

That’s Frank, known otherwise among polite people as St. Francis of Assisi.

He used to live in my mother’s bedroom, on top of a dresser, where she draped his arms with her gold chains. I doubt that Frank saw his mission in life was to drape himself in gold and hang out in women’s bedrooms. He was her favorite saint but I never understood her using him as a jewelry stand.

Anyway, she’s gone and I decided that Frank needed to renew his vows and such. His big saintly concept was to love animals, if you recall correctly. So I put him out in the back yard, in the bushes along the fence where cats skulk and rabbits hide and skunks amble and possums root for grubs. Frank’s a homey there.

Every morning when I  step out for a breath of fresh air, or rain, I look at him and say, “Hi Frank. Well, we’ve really screwed up the planet, dude. Enjoy it while you can.” Or words to that effect. Sometimes it’s just, “Hi Frank.” I figure he knows the rest by now.

He never says anything. He just stares up into the sun. I figure he’d rather be blind than look at what we’ve done.

Ah well, better sun and rain than gold chain, Frankie. Right?

#

Whitney Houston… February 12, 2012

…made an old man cry this morning.

#

Jessica Ahlquist Unprays Prayer Banner: Christians Come Unglued February 8, 2012

Jessica Ahlquist is a Cranston, Rhode Island teenager who objected to the display of a large Christian prayer banner on the auditorium wall of Cranston High School West.

The display was illegal, according to the courts and laws of the United States.

The Cranston school authorities refused to remove the banner, and Ahlquist, with the aid of the ACLU, sued. Ahlquist is an atheist.

She won the suit and the banner was ordered removed.

Throughout the process Ahlquist was subjected to the vilest verbal and written abuse imaginable, including death threats, from… wait for it… Christians. Apparently no suffering is too great to inflict on a teenage girl who insisted that her school obey the law of the land. Ahlquist required police protection in and out of school.

The school system, in addition to the costs of defending the suit, is also being asked to pay $173,000 to the ACLU to cover their costs.

The vileness of the Christian reaction beggars belief. Samples of the sort of threats and abuse can be found at various places on the Web, including the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, as well as many other places. Christians are not shy about threatening to kill people who disagree with them, who don’t believe as they do, who laugh at them. They are usually quite shy about identifying themselves when they make their threats. A sampling from the Freedom From Religion Foundation’s newspaper is enough to make decent people puke.

But here’s what started the whole deal. Here’s the prayer.

The prayer was written by a student in 1960, and was hung, as an eight-foot-tall banner, in the auditorium in 1963.

Here’s the text of the prayer in case it’s not clear in the image.

School Prayer
Our Heavenly Father

Grant us each day the desire to do our best. To grow mentally and morally as well as physically. To be kind and helpful to our classmates and teachers. To be honest with ourselves as well as with others. Help us to be good sports and smile when we lose as well as when we win. Teach us the value of true friendship. Help us always to conduct ourselves so as to bring credit to Cranston High School West.

Amen

Obviously a prayer. Undoubtedly Christian, given the Christianism of the community. There are no accompanying prayers from Hindus, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, animists, et al. Just this one.

The judge, a Reagan appointee, a Christian, and a conservative, found that it violated the law and ordered it removed.

But here’s the thing. The sentiments in the prayer are reasonable, the sorts of things students, and adults, might well aspire to.

But the context, the frame, weakens the sentiments, as well as making the whole thing run afoul of established law. “School Prayer”. “Our Heavenly Father”.  “Amen”.

The whole problem could have been avoided. Something like this perhaps:

Cranston West Students…

Desire to do our best. Seek to grow mentally and morally as well as physically. Work to be kind and helpful to our classmates and teachers. Desire to be honest with ourselves as well as with others. Want to be good in sports and smile when we lose as well as when we win. Seek the value of true friendship. Conduct ourselves so as to bring credit to Cranston High School West.

That’s all they needed. No need to get on their knees and beg the invisible sky god for something that was already within their power as human beings. No need to insult people of non-Christian faiths. No need to cough up a couple of hundred grand in legal fees.

But nope. Gotta dirty up their knees. Gotta act like weak little pussies who can’t handle the simplest things in life without begging the invisible hoo-ha to run their lives for them. Can’t think for themselves or make a decision about morals or values without bowing and scraping and begging the supernatural for help.

Apparently Ahlquist is the only one of the whole crowd who has any balls and a mind of her own.

And the upshot of it all? Vile attacks on the girl who pointed out the obvious and sought to correct a wrong. In fact, so disgusting and widespread were the perverted reactions of Rhode Islanders that a state Representative named Peter Palumbo, on radio station WPRO, called Ahlquist an “evil little thing”, and a pawn “being coerced by evil people…” A State Representative. A legislator. An upholder of the law. But oops, apparently also a Christian, and Christian perversion and bigotry and hatred trumps American law, doesn’t it?

If their Christ ever existed, he’d be spinning in his tomb and puking up his guts over the actions of his followers these days.

#

Alabama Sinks Deeper Into The Sea Of Stupid February 2, 2012

Alabama Republican State Senator Shadrack McGill is doing his godawful best to make the State of Alabama the dumbest place in America.

His clever two-pronged attack involves using the Bible to justify keeping the pay of teachers low, while using bogus logic absent fact to justify raising his own pay.

The  world stares in silent, stunned wonder at the  brilliance of the American political system that continually fills its legislatures with these great minds of absolute genius.

McGill said that by paying legislators more, they’re less susceptible to taking bribes.

"He needs to make enough that he can say no, in regards to temptation. … Teachers need to make the money that they need to make. There needs to be a balance there. If you double what you’re paying education, you know what’s going to happen? I’ve heard the comment many times, ‘Well, the quality of education’s going to go up.’ That’s never proven to happen, guys.

"It’s a Biblical principle. If you double a teacher’s pay scale, you’ll attract people who aren’t called to teach.

And perhaps at the next prayer breakfast or prayer lunch or prayer dinner Mr. McGill, obviously a product of Alabama’s school system, can explain how raising legislators’ pay makes them less likely to take bribes, since he hasn’t got a set of facts out there to prove that point, but apparently that must be in the Bible too, no doubt somewhere near the verse that says you should impoverish teachers in order to make your kids as stupid as you are, thus reducing intergenerational discord.

Yessiree, bubba, these Southern religious geniuses is just the best and brightest.

Like one of  their own said, ‘You can’t fix stupid.’ The  country needs a border fence alright – right around  the Southern Bible belt states.

Maybe old Abe should have just let the idiots go in 1861.

#

[The Lion recognizes that picking on an entire region of the country just because it seems constantly to produce dumbassery is not really fair. But really, they manage to come up with so much of it that it just beggars belief. Of course we have our clowns in the North too, but we just can’t compete on the numbers as well as the utter depth to which the Southern legislators manage to reach when they pull up the gobs of stupidity they use to smear their states. But perhaps it’s not fair to be so hard on the legislators. After all, they usually don’t vote themselves into office, do they? Or is that a Southern custom I missed?]