Archive for August, 2010

Japan Wins Little League World Series; Plays Demonstration Game Against American Team
August 30, 2010

Japan again won the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania this past weekend, and yesterday played a demonstration game against a United States team from Hawaii. The Japanese won that one 4 – 1.

The United States Little League again refused to play in international competition in Williamsport, thus once again forfeiting the chance to participate in the genuine World Series played by the teams from several other countries.

As long as the United States insists that its team be guaranteed a spot in the so-called Championship game, the LLWS cannot be considered a legitimate world competition. The winner of the Little League World Series will always be the winner of the international round robin. The United States can never lay claim to the title under the current rules, and thus has won no titles as long as those rules have been in effect. 

Which is to say, in the simplest language, the organizers of the Little League World Series have rigged the tournament to favor the United States. It’s difficult to conclude anything other than that the organizers are cheats. Although it is possible to conclude that they believe the only way a United States team can win is if the tournament is rigged. And of course it might be possible to conclude that the organizers rig the tournament to rake in television dollars because they fear that if a U.S. team isn’t in the Championship game nobody will watch.

Yup. It’s rigged. Got to be. Which is too bad, because the organizers have cheapened the game, insulted all the kids and given them an example of poor ethical behavior, and in particular the organizers have demeaned the American teams by guaranteeing them a spot in the final which they did not fully earn.

Now if they want to call it the Williamsport Series, or the Pennsylvania Series, or even the United States Series, they could get away with their shenanigans.

But don’t insult the world by calling it the Little League World Series. It’s only going to be a World Series when a single United States team has to fight through the international round robin, just like all the other teams from around the world, to earn a spot in the final.

American Terror
August 24, 2010

August 24, 2008 Denver, Colorado 

White supremacists Shawn Robert Adolf, Tharin Robert Gartrell and Nathan D. Johnson are arrested in Denver during the Democratic National Convention on weapons charges and for possession of amphetamines. Although police say they talked about assassinating presidential candidate Barack Obama, they are not charged in connection with that threat because officials see their talk as drug-fueled boasting. Police report the three had high powered, scoped rifles, wigs, camouflage clothing and a bulletproof vest, along with the crystal methamphetamine. Gartrell was released from prison in June 2009, while Johnson was to be freed in 2010. Adolf, who was already wanted on other charges, drew a longer sentence.

The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report

American Terror
August 22, 2010

August 22, 2002 Tampa, Florida 

Tampa area podiatrist Robert J. Goldstein is arrested after police, called by Goldstein’s wife after he allegedly threatened to kill her, find more than 15 explosive devices in their home, along with materials to make at least 30 more. Also found are homemade C-4 plastic explosives, grenades and mines, a .50-caliber rifle, semi-automatic weapons, and a list of 50 Islamic worship centers in the area. The most significant discovery is a three-page plan detailing plans to “kill all ‘rags’“ at the Islamic Society of Pinellas County. Eventually, two other local men are also charged in connection with the plot, and Goldstein’s wife is arrested for possessing illegal destructive devices. Goldstein pleads guilty to plotting to blow up the Islamic Society and is sentenced to more than 12 years in federal prison, with a release date in 2013. His wife was released in 2006.

The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report

A Selection of Vile Anti-Christian Hate Mail From The Files Of The MRFF
August 14, 2010

What follows is a random selection of anti-Christian hate mail from the files of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. The complete file in pdf form can be found at this link. It’s truly amazing how much the writers hate Christianity. Most of them seem to be utterly ignorant of the religion, and none too bright besides.

The emails are generally directed at Mikey Weinstein, who founded and runs the MRFF.

Herewith some of the most vile anti-Christian material you’re going to find anywhere. Each paragraph is a separate email.


So, sacrificed any Christian babies lately? Or are you one of those secular humanist jews?

you f*****g piece of shit jew and your stinking jew woman and inbred jew childrun and jewlover traiter daughterinlaw deserve to torture die you filth jew liberil america hating jesus hating basterd Lord willing none of us will have to wait long america is too good for dirty jew scum of your family and your commie foundasion"

My money’s on we gas you fucks first, and this time get it right. Cheers!

I want to send my help to your organization, by volunteering to help you burn down churches. Especially nigger chruches. You are a fucking idiot!! The only reason that we have been so blessed by GOD is because we were founded on christian principles!!! I CURSE you to fail and die a VERY severe death mikeyweinstein!!!!! I hope all your kids turn out gay as hell, take it in the ass, and get aids and die!!!!! Die Fag

To MRFF you bunch of egg sucking dogs have no business sticking your fucking nose in religious beliefs. Join with the egg sucking CAIR and fight against Graham. We will not be safe until Cair and people like you are eradicated like cockroaches from the land of the USA. Islam and everyone supporting Islam is evil. Accept it. You are trying to take over the USA. Not without a fight. we have had it.

Mike, you are so off base. YOU want all Christians DEAD? I read your comments. YOU are what is wrong with this country. Are you closet Muslim? Do you hate our country so much? There was NEVER anything that said there was to be a separation of church and state!!!!!!! Just freedom to practice any religion. You want to force your evil views on all people. Yes Christians believe the Bible and for your information, you and your 7 organization are helping fulfill prophecy by condemning Christ and His followers. But, whether you believe or not, YOU are still going to burn in Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish all you people would leave my country, (I am a native American, so I have every right to this country, YOU have zero rights to this land) People like you are ushering in Islam for everyone. I bet you voted for the pretender and chief, Obama the liar. Congratulations, you are anti-American, pro-evil, anti-Semitic, anti- Christian and just plain stupid. May God forgive you, for you know not what you do I will stand for Jesus and lay my life down for His word, me and 38 million other fanatics

Victories?! LOL…you are too little too late. Its so easy to bypass your pathetic totalitarian organization, the irony is that we learned a lot from you devils, we replicate and improved all the techniques you use to conquer society. Army is ours, Navy is ours, Air Force is ours (including the big firecrackers) the only thing that isnt ours is the Marines because they are 11 mostly a bunch of butch-faggots just like the Greeks were (i heard Kissinger loves his Marines if you know what i mean…) You think we were going to let you do to us what you did to the Russians? Those FEMA camps are going to be used…the problem for you is that instead of commies being the guards its going to be Christians.

This link in your "newsletter" is all the evidence white Christians need that your loyalty is with world jewry, israel, and the talmud. Notice that even the yid who wrote this says the US Army "retaliated" against the beating of your whiney little jew. The Christian, white US army. And you claim some kind of victory? Now he gets a rabbi and kosher food. What about separation of state and religion? Being a jew isn’t about religion, my mistake. It’s about changing the world to your liking. Keep it up, big man. Many of us are not just sitting idle.

Gee….what a surprise….a jew wants to ban Christianity…they tried that 2,000 years ago…look what happened from that effort…so, ban ahead!…it only makes the followers of the one true faith, Christianity, stronger…


See, you can’t get much more anti-Christian than this bunch of clowns. Makes one wonder what kind of homes they came from that would teach them to spew such vile hatred; and what kind of religion they practice that teaches this sort of filth and encourages them to vomit it forth. Really, what religion do they belong to? Does anyone know? Some obscure sect of some unknown violent religion that caters to brain-damaged sociopaths, perhaps? Some drug-addled Satanic sect, maybe?

Very strange, very strange indeed.

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Here A Racist, There A Bigot, Everywhere A Dumbass Republinut: This One Is In Florida
August 13, 2010

From an email appeal from Democratic Representative Alan Grayson in Florida:


My opponent, Dan Fanelli, thinks that only brown people should have to pass through security at the airports. Because all terrorists are brown people.

I’m not making this up. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself (as 150,000 others have). If you can stomach it:

Apparently, Dan Fanelli is running against me because I’m not racist.

Fanelli’s "racist madness" was reported on MSNBC, the Washington Post, the Huffington Post, CBS, and Talking Points Memo. You can watch the ad on Keith Olbermann’s show, which dedicated a whole segment to Fanelli.

But let’s go through some pictures together, so Dan Fanelli can see some different faces of terrorism.

Does THIS look like a terrorist?

That’s Timothy McVeigh.

Does THIS look like a terrorist?

That’s Holocaust Museum shooter James Von Brunn.

Does THIS look like a terrorist?

That’s white supremacist Daniel Cowart, who conspired to kill President Obama.

Does THIS look like a terrorist?

That’s Jeff Berry of the KKK.

Terrorists come in all colors, shapes, sizes, and even genders. But Fanelli isn’t really talking about terrorism. What Fanelli and his Republican bigot friends are saying is that American citizenship comes in two versions: white and nonwhite. That’s why they want to put through laws that would require every single person to carry proof of citizenship, or risk arrest. Because they want to degrade and put down everyone who isn’t just like them.

I have news for them. America is a nation, not a tribe.


The Lion is a fan of Alan Grayson. He’s one of the few Democrats to call out the sickos and whackos on the right, and there are a lot of targets out there for him.


Economist Joel Naroff Explains It All, Or Why You Should Stop Whining That You Don’t Have A Job
August 13, 2010

Talking Points Memo carries an article talking about retail sales rebounding in July, except of course the article also states that sales didn’t really rebound.

And why not, one may ask…

"Sales remain restricted by weak fundamentals including few new jobs, low income growth, high unemployment, low and volatile wealth, limited access to credit, and low confidence," said analyst Scott Hoyt at Moody’s

Yeah, okay, sure, what he said, except maybe that cryptic bit about ‘low and volatile wealth’.

The retail sales trend "underscores the loss of momentum in consumer spending, with no signs of a turnaround to speak of," added analyst Aneta Markowska of Societe Generale.

Yeah, no kidding, people aren’t buying stuff. People don’t got no mo. They don’t got no money either.

But here’s the deep explanation, the real profound one:

"This recovery needs time so that the damage from the housing and financial sector meltdowns can be healed further and the impression that a slow but steady upturn is sustainable can be created," said economist Joel Naroff at Naroff Economic Advisors.

"When households and businesses finally accept that gratification will be slow in coming, they will stop being so depressing and spending will return, triggering additional hiring and ultimately a stronger period of growth," he said.

Maybe Naroff has spent too much time hanging around the marketing department and forgotten how to speak normal English, or maybe he’s been hanging around the Republicans and gotten all impressed with language that sounds intelligent but doesn’t mean squat.

See, what’s important to Naroff here is ‘the impression…that a(n)… upturn is sustainable can be created’. Yeah, Joel, how about you pay your rent with an impression of money, or feed your kids impressions of food.

And that bit about ‘gratification will be slow in coming, they will stop being so depressing and spending will return’? Oh me oh my, you mean we’re all so depressed because we can’t get our jollies from instant gratification at the supermarket anymore? Or is it that our suffering is ‘so depressing’ to you and yours? Why else would you say ‘depressing’?

How about people being depressed because they don’t have frigging jobs and can’t pay the damned rent or the damned mortgage and don’t know if they can put food on the table tonight and they don’t see any chance of that changing anytime in the near future? How about they see that, and they also see fatass fatcats like Joel Naroff accusing them of whining about a lack of instant gratification while his financial buddies on Wall Street suck up taxpayer money to support their fatass bonuses and fancy lifestyles? And how about Naroff whining that we’re making him depressed because we’re just all oh so caught up in whining about our lack of instant gratification?

And lest anyone doubt Joel’s Wall Street ties, he served as Chief Economist for TD Bank, Commerce Bank, First Union Bank, and Fidelity Bancorp.

You want to know what gratification is, Joel? Gratification is poking you in the eye when you dump on people struggling to keep from drowning in your twisted, greed-ridden, brutal economic system.

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American Military Infested With Christian Crazies At All Levels: Mikey Weinstein, The Scourge Of Reason, Battles Them
August 12, 2010

From Alternet comes the story of Mikey Weinstein, founder of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, and his all-out deadly battle against Christian extremists corrupting the military and sabotaging the military’s laws and its mission.

He’s not fighting some polite battle of wits with intellectual Christians. He’s fighting some of the worst vermin of the religious right, people who want to use the military to further their insane beliefs and force them on not only foreign countries but on America itself.

These people make the Islamic jihadis look like little old ladies. Weinstein and his family have had to turn their home into a fort defended by guard dogs and sometimes by professional security teams. He and his wife, who has multiple sclerosis, are always armed, having had to get concealed carry permits for their own safety.

But he fights on, despite the tremendous toll the battle has taken on him and his family.

Within the military the influence of these sick, pathetic, and dangerous phony Christians is pervasive, and threatens to undermine and destroy democracy in America. Imagine a fanatically religious military in America. An American military. There is nothing they would not do to impose their foul and evil beliefs on the country. Their arrogance is as boundless as their hatred.

And right now one of the very few people fighting them is Mikey Weinstein. Read the article by Matt Harwood at Alternet. It’s long, but well written and goddam scary. Then go to the MRFF site and help them however you can.

[And thanks to Shorty for the tip.]

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American Terror
August 10, 2010

August 10, 1999 Los Angeles, California 

Buford Furrow, a former member of the neo-Nazi Aryan Nations who has been living with the widow of slain terrorist leader Bob Mathews, strides into a Jewish community center near Los Angeles and fires more than 70 bullets, wounding three boys, a teenage girl and a woman. He then drives into the San Fernando Valley and murders Filipino-American mailman Joseph Ileto. The next day, Furrow turns himself in, saying he intended to send “a wake-up call to America to kill Jews.” Furrow, who has a history  of mental illness, eventually pleads guilty and is sentenced to two life terms without parole, plus 110 years in prison.

The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report

Why Media Matters Matters
August 7, 2010

What follows is the full text of today’s early morning email commentary from Media Matters. If you’re not familiar with them, you should go there and check them out. They’re doing what the American press is supposed to do and has failed miserably at doing. They pull no punches about the sickness on the American political right. – The Lion


Media Matters: Of mosques and mendacity

If you’ve followed the conservative media over the past few weeks, you can be forgiven for thinking that it’s a tough time for white Christians in America right now, what with the New Black Panthers denying white people their voting rights and undocumented workers clogging up our civic machinery with "anchor babies." The message coming from Fox News and some of the more determined attention-seekers on the right is that we’re in a battle for white America’s Jesus-worshiping soul, beset as it is by immigrants and black USDA officials and, perhaps most threateningly, Muslims.

The New York City landmarks commission decided this week to act in the interest of New Yorkers rather than out-of-state conservative pundits and voted to clear the way for the construction of an Islamic center in lower Manhattan, a few blocks from the site where the World Trade Center once stood. This was unacceptable to said pundits, who insisted that this site of America’s mourning should be exempted from American values. "We’re all about religious freedom," explained Sarah Palin, but only "down the road." Newt Gingrich announced, "I favor religious freedom," but not "right at the edge of a place where, let’s be clear, thousands of Americans were killed in an attack by radical Islamists."

The argument from the right is relatively straightforward — Muslim terrorists destroyed the Twin Towers, therefore we should ban all things Muslim from the area, in the interest of healing and sympathy (although, as Salon noted, they were curiously silent when Muslims began praying in the Pentagon shortly after 9-11). That argument necessarily holds all Muslims accountable for the detestable acts of the small and violent minority of Muslims who take up the terrorist mantle. On its own, that would be offensive enough, but people like Palin and Gingrich purport to be sensitive to that distinction and nonetheless run roughshod over it. Palin famously took to her Twitter account to exhort "peaceful Muslims" to "refudiate" the Islamic center. Gingrich acknowledged the differences between "radical Islamists" and other Muslims before launching into an unhinged attack on the "Ground Zero mosque" and "Creeping Sharia in the United States."

Others simply can’t be bothered to even pretend to understand that "Muslim" does not equal "terrorist." A "recruiting tool for domestic extremists" was how Rush Limbaugh described the Islamic center. Glenn Beck called it an "Allah tells me to blow up America mosque." Comments like these badly mischaracterize what the "Ground Zero mosque" actually is and the role it will play in America’s unsettled relationship with the Muslim world.

The people behind the mosque are Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf and his wife, Daisy Khan, and contrary to what the right wing would have you believe, Time magazine says they’re "actually the kind of Muslim leaders right-wing commentators fantasize about: modernists and moderates who openly condemn the death cult of al-Qaeda and its adherents." Rauf has written a book titled What’s Right with Islam Is What’s Right with America. In late 2001, after the 9-11 attacks, Rauf was quoted in New Jersey’s Bergen County Record as saying that Islam must "define its ‘American-ness,’ that is, adapt to the American culture." The Atlantic‘s Jeffrey Goldberg, who knows Rauf, describes him as representing "what Bin Laden fears most: a Muslim who believes that it is possible to remain true to the values of Islam and, at the same time, to be a loyal citizen of a Western, non-Muslim country."

That message, however, is unimportant to right-wingers who are more interested in turning the "Ground Zero mosque" into a wedge issue and stoking Islamophobia for political benefit. The tragic farce of it all, as described by Slate‘s William Saletan, is that people like Palin and Gingrich, who purport to be standing up against terror and for America, are actually promulgating the same message as Osama bin Laden — that "the United States represents Christianity, al-Qaida represents Muslims, Christians won’t protect Muslims, the West hates mosques, peaceful coexistence is a fraud, and the ‘war on terrorism’ is really a war on Islam." It’s hard to argue with that assessment when you hear the likes of Limbaugh claiming that the "Ground Zero mosque" means Muslims are "planting the flag of victory."

Jonathan Chait surveyed the right-wing opposition to the mosque and concluded that "a lot of people are going to eventually feel ashamed about where they stood." That might be true, but all signs seem to indicate that these people are about as familiar with the concept of shame as they are with religious freedom.

A big week for "judicial activism"

If the conservative media have taught us anything else — and they haven’t — it’s that members of the judiciary who are progressive and don’t adhere strictly to right-wingers’ shifting interpretations of the law are "judicial activists" who "legislate from the bench" and see the Constitution as a "living document" and so forth. Of course, the conservative faction of the Supreme Court under Chief Justice John Roberts is carving out quite a legacy of judicial activism, but that doesn’t count because they’re conservatives.

And speaking of the Roberts court, it picked up its newest member this week as Elena Kagan, President Obama’s pick to replace retiring Justice John Paul Stevens, was confirmed by the Senate in a largely party-line vote that, while it got the job done, did not portend well for future nominations. She will be the next associate justice of the Supreme Court in spite of a spirited smear campaign by conservatives who were not about to limit themselves to cries of "judicial activism." They hurled just about every attack they could at Kagan throughout the nomination process, and it’s still going strong even though the deed is done.

Just this week alone, conservatives attempted to force a delay on Kagan’s vote by screaming that she lied to the Judiciary Committee about her stance on partial birth abortion. When that failed, they claimed she does not believe in and seeks to destroy the Constitution, they attacked her looks, and even called her a stealth Muslim.

But as intense as the attacks on Kagan were, the fusillade against Judge Vaughn Walker was even worse. Walker ruled this week that California’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional, and right-wingers lit into him not just because he ruled against their interests, but because he’s gay. "Nero, like Judge Vaughn, wanted the community to embrace his unnatural way of life," declared The Washington Times, perhaps subconsciously acknowledging the stale antiquity of its position. The Times also insisted that Walker should have recused himself from the case because he is gay, a ludicrous argument that earned swift rebukes from people who actually know what they’re talking about.

The intense right-wing focus on Judge Walker’s personal life, however, managed to overlook one aspect of his background — the fact that he was nominated as a federal judge by Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush.

But such things are bound to happen to "judicial activists" when they do clearly unconstitutional things like stand up for equal rights.

He meant what he said, he said what he meant, Fox News stood by him, 1,000 percent

It’s been clear for some time now that the culture of accountability at Fox News doesn’t, you know … exist. If you’re a Fox News employee, you can get away with pretty much anything. Photoshopping the faces of New York Times reporters to make them ugly caricatures of themselves? No problem. Bringing on a racist anti-Semite to attack the African-American presidential candidate? Nothing to worry about. Cropping video of the president to claim he spoke for terrorist sympathizers? Give that man a raise!

But if there’s a poster child for Fox News’ permissive attitude toward media malpractice, it’s Glenn Beck. After all, this is the guy whose attack on the president as a "racist" cost the network millions in ad revenue, and the worst he got was Rupert Murdoch’s enthusiastic "good on ya!" (a Fox News spokesman later said Murdoch "does not … think the president is a racist"). And this week we learned that there really doesn’t seem to be anything Beck can do that will get him in trouble with his bosses.

It all started back on May 28, when Beck attacked Simon Greer of the Jewish Funds for Justice, who had called Beck a "con man" for "bottling [his] ideological agenda and labeling it theology." Beck responded by saying that Greer’s philosophy "leads to death camps. A Jew, of all people, should know that. This is exactly the kind of talk that led to the death camps in Germany. Put humankind and the common good first." After Beck attacked this prominent Jewish individual for helping to promote a second Holocaust, Fox News executives decided it might be a good idea to meet with Greer on behalf of their once-again wayward star and talk things over.

According to TVNewser, Fox News senior vice president Joel Cheatwood made clear to Greer that, in spite of Beck’s horribly offensive rhetoric concerning one of the worst instances of genocide the world has ever known, Fox News "absolutely stood behind Glenn Beck 1000%."

So while this is obviously a disheartening development for society at large, Fox News hosts should be excited. If Fox executives will allow Glenn Beck to accuse Jews of, in the words of Greer, " paving the way for fascism," then they’re free to get as creative as they want and attack anyone for pretty much anything.

Of course, they already do that anyway, but at least now it’s official.

Simon Maloy is a Research Fellow at Media Matters for America.

Politics In The Good Old Days…
August 1, 2010

Last night The Lion was discussing his new book, Back in the Good Old Days of Politics, by The Lion, with Jon Stewart. Yes, yes, that Jon Stewart.

Of course the subject of corrupt political regimes came up. Tammany Hall. The old Daley machine in Chicago. The Roman Empire.

The Lion noted that corrupt regimes were often handled differently in the old days.

“Like what?” Jon said. “They had to give up some oxen or a daughter or two when they got kicked out?”

“Close, Jon, close. For example, there was a mayoral election in a Bactrian village in the year 2202 B.C….”

“Bactria? Isn’t that where we get Bactrian camels? I always forget, are they one hump or two?”

“Indeed. Two humps, Jon. In fact, camels played a role. The old mayor was totally corrupt. Very bad guy. Well the new mayor decided he couldn’t look forward until he had dealt with the past, so he turned a herd of camels loose on the old mayor and his family and his supporters. Smashed up his palatial hovel and his garden too for good measure.”

“You might say he humped them to death,” Jon giggled.

“Someone might say that, Jon.”

“That sounds drastic, but you seem to approve,” Jon said.

“Well, yes and no,” The Lion replied. “It was good that the new mayor spared the family pets, but there was a housing shortage and crushing the hovel might have been a little too much.”

“Uh ha. Soooo, do you think that would be a good idea today?”

“That depends. Now by those standards President Obama would have taken all the Bushes and all the Cheneys and all their hangers-on and such and shot them. Line ‘em up, read ‘em the charges, and bang. Moving on to new business.”

“You said it depends. How’s that?”

“Well, Bush and Cheney could have gotten away with it. Given their personalities it might have been expected, wiping out the Clintonistas and the Clintons. Bush might even have executed his father too, just to be sure he tidied up all the loose ends.”

“But you think Obama couldn’t do it?” Jon said. “Too nice a guy, right?”

“Au contraire, Jon, au contraire. In fact the Bush-Cheney machine would have richly deserved summary execution. Back in Rome they would have been put to the sword, their families killed, their lands appropriated, and there would never have been anything like a Tea Party over it. No, Obama has a different problem.”

“Let me guess. It would start a race war because he’s black.”

“I don’t think it would come to that. After all, he’s half-white. No, it’s the reaction of the Republicans in Congress and in the Republican leadership.”

Jon shrugged his shoulders in query.

“Can’t you just hear them, Jon? ‘Uppity nigger’. That’s all we would hear, Republicans mumbling the ‘uppity’ word. They’d refuse to pass any of his programs. The more virulent and racist of them would break off and form a separate party. It would be very messy, Jon, very messy.”

“So you think that’s why Bush and Cheney are alive and free today? Because the Republicans would be shouting out the ‘U’ word?”

“Partly. It would be a public relations nightmare and the Republicans would try to polarize the country and paralyze the legislative process.”

“Partly, you say. What’s the other part?”

“Well Bush and Cheney never trusted Obama to do the right thing, and frankly, like most rigid authoritarian people they spend most of their time scared to death. So they signed an agreement with Obama.”

“Like a contract or something?”

“Exactly. For the next one hundred years the Bush and Cheney families will work in the fields of the farm Obama bought in Illinois, picking cotton and vegetables.”

“Wow!” Jon said. “I’d never have imagined that.”

“It’s a win-win situation, Jon. Obama gets cheap labor, for just the price of feeding them, and the Bush and Cheney families get to live in hovels for free.”

“We’ve certainly come a long way since Bactria,” Jon said, before he went home to his wife next door. Yes, yes, that Jon Stewart, The Lion’s next door neighbor. Who did you think it was?


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