Archive for December, 2010

What Would The J-Man Do?
December 28, 2010

[An old post from Grumpy Tiger, just because it’s Christmas and an antidote is necessary…GL]

    Sunday morning, on my way home from not going to church, an activity which I observe religiously, I stopped at Arnie’s Sidewalk Café to partake of his generous Atheist Coffee Hour. As I munched on an Atheist Cinnamon Bun, shaped like an angel, the J-Man sat down at my table.
     “J-Man, how you doing?”
     He looked puzzled. “You recognize me?”
     “Sure. The white robe, the long hair, the silky beard, the healthy glow. And that little halo thingie up there.”
     “Damn. I thought I had that taken care of.”
     I shrugged. “Hard to get good help these days.”
     “I just came from church. Nobody recognized me. They looked at me like I was a freak.”
     “It’s the clothes, J. Robes are out. Tell you what, I’m almost finished here. Let’s go over to Wal-Mart and get you some jeans, a nice shirt. You want shoes or keep the sandals?”
     “Sandals are good.” He peered down at his toes.
     “Umm. How about underwear? You wearing any?”
     “That’s sort of personal, don’t you think?”
     “I’m cool with it.”
     He looked around nervously for a second. “Maybe we could skip Wal-Mart and go to, oh, I don’t know, maybe that store over there.”
     He pointed across the street at Joe and Annie’s Good Time General Store and Computer Repair.
     “Sure. I know Joe and Annie a long time.”
     “Good. Good. It’s just that the Old Man doesn’t really approve of Wal-Mart. They don’t treat people right.”
     “Amen,” I said.
     I bought him some nice Pakistani jeans and a white shirt with just a touch of red and yellow embroidery, and we went for a walk in the city park down the street.
     When we settled into a nice walking rhythm, I said, “So J-Man, what are you doing here? You didn’t come to try to convert me again, did you, because we had that talk when I was twelve.”
     “You were thirteen, and no that’s not why.”
     “Okay. What’s up then?”
     He fidgeted, picked up a rock and threw it in the lake. It skipped all the way to the other side and hit a duck. “Damn. You think he’s alright?”
     “You hit him in the butt. His dignity’s ruffled is all.”
     “Everything’s out of quack.” He smiled, then shrugged.
     “Good one.”
     “It’s all these people going around asking ‘What would the J-Man do?’”.
     “Yeah, that would get annoying.”
     He smacked his forehead. “It’s getting worse than all the praying. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to listen to the Old Man rant about that. ‘Why don’t they get off their asses and their knees and do something instead of whining to me? Tell me when I designed pathetic whining into them, tell me! Whine, whine, whine. Please fix Aunt Jean’s liver. Please kill the dictators. Please get rid of Bush. Please kill all the Muslims. Please help Anna Nicole’s baby. Please find money for heat. Please fix my car. What in Hell do they think I am?’ Yada yada yada. He goes on for years sometimes.”
     “Must be tough in the god business these days.”
     “You’ve no idea. Oy!” He shook his head. He looked at me curiously. “You’re an atheist. Why are you even listening to me?”
     “You’re an interesting guy. You tell some funny stories.”
     “I’m supposed to be your God.”
     “You hit a duck in the butt.”
     “Good point.”
     “Look, even if you did a miracle right here in front of me, I’d just shrug and tell you that David Blaine can probably do it better.”
     “You know, him and Copperfield have really messed up the miracle business. I saw Blaine levitate once, on the street, in front of people. He had me convinced.”
     “He has a god-given talent.”
     “I should mess up your karma for that one!” He laughed. It was good to see him laugh. When I was thirteen he had been so serious I was sure he was headed for a heart attack or a stroke.
     “So what about this WWJD stuff?” I said.
     “Well! I mean, it’s ridiculous isn’t it? First time I’m back I see a 747 roaring in over my head. I was terrified.”
     “Probably not a good idea to come back in an airport.”
     “Yeah. And trying to cross a city street for the first time? No oxen, no horses, no asses.”
     “You haven’t seen some of the girls, have you?”
     “Whole other story. I actually tried to chastise some of them for their immodesty. They laughed.”
     “They ask to see under your robe?”
     “The redhead did.” He paused. I think he blushed. “I was tempted. She was really very pretty.”
     I let him have his moment.
     “And TV. First time I saw TV I tried to find out how the little people got in the box. And where’d they come from? We didn’t make them. I told people it was sorcery, and they threw me out of the bar.” 
    “Yankees, playoffs, right?”
     “Oh yeah. I learned not to mess with people’s Yankees.”
     We walked on in silence for a few minutes along the edge of the lake. Lots of people were out enjoying the sunshine, walking, jogging, playing with their dogs. Several of the women cast appraising glances our way. Well, his way.
     “J-Man, you should pick up one of these women, have a few drinks, go out on the town, relax.”
     “I know, I know. That’s what my therapist tells me. Loosen up, loosen up, she says. But this WWJD stuff…”
     “Well, what would you do?”
     “What difference does it make? They know what to do. They don’t need to be pinning it on me and the Old Man. They’ve got science and reason. Can’t any of these people think through a problem and come up with solutions? They have to whine to us about it? It’s pathetic.”
     I nodded.
     He said, “The world’s going to hell, they’re responsible, and they won’t do anything about it. Look at me. I come from a two thousand year old village barely out of the freaking Stone Age, and they want me to fix the world. They think that the stuff written by a bunch of post-Stone Age fanatics, neurotics, psychotics, poets and essayists is what ought to govern the world. These people are on drugs.”
     “And I thought I was alone in thinking that.”
     “Nah,” he said quickly. “But don’t tell anyone I said so.”
     “My lips are sealed.”
     “Do you think that duck is really okay?”
     “Sure. Trust me, they see worse every day.”
     “Yeah, I guess. Want to go to the Yankees game today? Double header. Drink some beer, flirt with the girls a little.”
     “How’re we gonna get tickets?” I said.
     “Dude, I’m the J-Man.” He flashed a couple of tickets seemingly out of nowhere. “I may not be David Blaine, but I’ve got some pull.”

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Homosexuals In The White House?! Eek!
December 22, 2010

President Obama was just asked why, if gays are now to be allowed to serve openly in the military, they shouldn’t be allowed to marry the people they love.

The President restated his position supporting civil unions but not marriage. No news there.

But in the course of his answer he said that he has friends and has people working for him who are in ‘powerful committed’ gay and lesbian relationships.

The Lion predicts that shortly we will be hearing cries from the right wing and from the fundogelical wingnuts about ‘homosexuals’ in the White House, cries decrying the moral decay of America, and the evils of Barrack Obama and the Democratic administration.

Witch hunt anyone?

When Boehner and the Boners take over the House in January The Lion suspects we will be treated to any number of witch hunts grounded in ignorance, fueled by the generally low intelligence and integrity of Congressional Republicans, and motivated not only by animus towards gays and others the Republicans don’t like (people like the 9/11 cops and firefighters, for example), but also by their stated desire to accomplish only one thing – denying Obama a second term.

The Lion predicts that just as Nancy Pelosi was one of the strongest, most productive House Speakers in history, John Boehner will be one of the worst, leading the House of Representatives into a truly disgusting display of the worst that American politicians can offer to the American people.

Good times, good times.

Republican Governor Haley Barbour, Presidential Wannabe, Praises Vicious Racist Group
December 21, 2010

Haley Barbour, currently governor of the residually racist state of Mississippi, has gone and laid some praise on the Citizen’s Council, a nasty piece of racist work founded in Mississippi in reaction to the 1954 Brown v. Board of Education Supreme Court decision declaring school segregation unconstitutional. 

TPM has the story in all its ugly glory, along with an enlightening historical explication of the situation, including an image of the front page of the August 1956 issue of the news rag, The Citizens’ Council, which speaks volumes of unadulterated proud white bigotry.

Barbour is now engaged in the usual Republican process of denying that he is the ugly thing that he says he is.

Read all about it and ask yourself why it is that modern Republicans seem to be the ones in such a hurry to roll the country back to a past that they think is so glorious. You know, back to the time when there was no Social Security or Medicare, when Americans were rugged, independent individuals who didn’t ever need a hand, especially when they had the Klan and the Citizen’s Councils to protect them from the consequences (usually none) of lynching subhuman niggers (a pejorative that lives on in the conscious and subconscious of modern Republicans no matter how often the media and the African-American community try to infantilize it to the ‘n-word’).

Republicans usually appeal to their history as the so-called Party of Lincoln-who-freed-the-slaves, implying that they couldn’t possibly be racist and that Haley Barbour is just a good ol’ down home boy defending his home turf.

Wait for it. Listen! Hear that? That’s the sound of Lincoln spitting in Haley Barbour’s face.

Update: Good ol’ boy Haley walked it back. Read all about it, here and here.

Cenk Uygur on MSNBC just reminded everyone that ol’ Haley said there weren’t any problems integrating the University of Mississippi when he was there. He must have been on a different part of the campus when the riots, fires, and gunplay were going down.

Ol’ fathead Haley also claimed he had a friendly relationship with a black woman at that time and that he still loved her. She noted that he got her middle name wrong and she remembered him but didn’t  have anything to do with him.

Wait for it. Listen. Hear that? That’s the sound of The Lion giggling.

American Terror
December 18, 2010

December 18, 1995 Reno, NV 

An Internal Revenue Service (IRS) employee discovers a plastic drum packed with ammonium nitrate and fuel oil in a parking lot behind the IRS building in Reno, Nev. The device failed to explode a day earlier when a three-foot fuse went out prematurely. Ten days later, tax protester Joseph Martin Bailie is arrested. Bailie is eventually sentenced to 36 years in federal prison, with a release date of 2027. An accomplice, Ellis Edward Hurst, is released in 2004.

From:
The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report

American Terror
December 16, 2010

December 16, 2008 Camp Lejeune, NC

Kody Ray Brittingham, a lance corporal in the U.S. Marine Corps, is arrested with four others on attempted robbery charges. A search of his barracks room at Camp Lejeune, N.C., allegedly turns up white supremacist materials and a journal written by Brittingham containing plans to kill Barack Obama. Brittingham is indicted for threatening the president-elect of the United States, a crime that carries a maximum penalty of five years in federal prison and a fine of up to $250,000.

From:
The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report

Richard Holbrooke, Diplomatic Giant: Not So Much, Not So Much
December 14, 2010

Ray McGovern, former CIA analyst and military intelligence officer, doesn’t agree with all the praise being heaped on the freshly dead Richard Holbrooke. He’s got quite another point of view, expressed at the site Consortium News.

A couple of bits:

And, in the curious standards of Official Washington, Holbrooke’s circumspection and silence – even as countless “small” people get wounded and killed – is cause for lionizing him in death.

And…

And the American troops? It is hard to escape the conclusion that Holbrooke shared the view of Henry Kissinger, another devotee of Realpolitik diplomacy who had little regard for the humanity and value of common soldiers.

In the book Kiss the Boys Goodbye: How the United States Betrayed its Own POWs in Vietnam, Kissinger is quoted as saying: “Military men are just dumb stupid animals to be used as pawns in foreign policy.”

Not the hero our politicos and media pretty boys are making him out to be.

Worth reading.

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Spice Up Your Life, Get Your Heart Beating, Experience Pure Terror
December 14, 2010

Things a little slow for you today? Can’t quite get going? Maybe feeling a little bored, a little out of it? Want to jazz up your life for a few minutes, possibly even suffer a heart attack?

Go here, start the video and hang on for dear life.

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May 21, 2011: Jesus Return Engagement, Slaughter To Follow
December 13, 2010

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution carried a story the other day by Shelia [sic] Poole noting that a North Carolina Christian crowd plans to “place 50 billboards in the metro area proclaiming the rapture and Jesus’ imminent return, based on analysis of Scripture and biblical genealogy.”

Allison Warden, of WeCanKnow.com noted:

"The Bible teaches that Christ is returning on May 21 and we want to encourage people to go to Scripture and investigate for themselves," said Warden, who insists the Christmas-timed campaign is not a gimmick. "All information in the Bible points to this date. God is going to be saving people right up until the last moment."

The rapture, of course, occurs when all the good guys (Allison and her crew) will float up to Heaven, apparently still in their earthy bodies, and be saved from the murderous dark times that will follow when only all us bad guys are left on earth.

Okay, that’s the usual Christian delusion and insanity.

The real question that should be asked is how much are all these billboards going to cost, including the ones that are already up and running in other cities.

The Christians always bleat about Christian compassion and Christian charity, but here they are, when tens of millions of people can’t find jobs, when millions can’t afford to heat their homes (if they still have them), when millions aren’t sure where their next meal is coming from, here are the Christians spending gobs of money on billboards announcing their delusions and stupidity and selfishness, and going into raptures about themselves.

Too bad the Rapture is a crock of myth. The planet would be well rid of these arrogant clots. Maybe once they’re gone the rest of us can get down to finding real solutions to real problems without having to wade through a sea of idiot superstition and ignorance and Biblical  dumbassery.

American Terror
December 12, 2010

December 12, 1997 AR

A federal grand jury in Arkansas indicts three men on racketeering charges for plotting to overthrow the government and create a whites only Aryan People’s Republic, which they intend to grow through polygamy. Chevie Kehoe, Daniel Lee and Faron Lovelace are accused of crimes in six states, including murder, kidnapping, robbery and conspiracy. Kehoe and Lee will also face state charges of murdering an Arkansas family, including an 8-year-old girl, in 1996. Kehoe ultimately receives a life sentence on that charge, while Lee is sentenced to death. Lovelace is sentenced to death for the murder of a suspected informant, but because of court rulings is later resentenced to life without parole. Kehoe’s brother, Cheyne, is convicted of attempted murder during a 1997 Ohio shootout with police and sentenced to 24 years in prison, despite his helping authorities track down his fugitive brother in Utah after the shootout. Cheyne went to the authorities after Chevie began talking about murdering their parents and showing sexual interest in Cheyne’s wife.

From:
The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report

American Terror
December 11, 2010

December 11, 2001 Culver City, CA 

Jewish Defense League chairman Irving David Rubin and a follower, Earl Leslie Krugel, are arrested in California and charged with conspiring to bomb the offices of U.S. Rep. Darrel Issa (R-Calif.) and the King Fahd Mosque in Culver City. Authorities say a confidential informant taped meetings with the two in which the bombings were discussed and Krugel said the JDL needed “to do something to one of their filthy mosques.” Rubin later commits suicide in prison, officials say, just before he is to go on trial in 2002. Krugel pleads guilty to conspiracy in both plots, and testifies that Rubin conspired with him. Krugel dies in prison in 2005.

From:
The Second Wave: Return of the Militias
Southern Poverty Law Center Special Report