Vick Finds Jesus
August 28, 2007

We should have seen it coming. In his little mea culpa Michael Vick announced to the world that he had found Jesus, who was apparently missing. He said he found God, too, if I understood him correctly.

Well, we’re glad that’s cleared up. Perhaps he’ll get credit from the judge for his good work in finding those two missing miscreants.

Naturally his discovery had absolutely nothing to do with an attempt to salvage his multi-million dollar career and his bloodied image. No sir, not a thing, not one little bit.

And that bit about his actions being ‘immature’? Oh, that was priceless. He’s not such a bright boy, after all. He has confused immaturity with sociopathy. Let’s all chip in for a big dictionary that he can take to bed on those long prison nights.

Maybe he can look up ‘public relations spin’ and ‘hypocrisy’ when he’s not dreaming of savaging and killing dogs.

And oh yeah, don’t you just love the way the mainstream commentators are just eating up his little apology speech? Suddenly he’s an okay guy again.

Tell that to the dead dogs, morons.