Kiran Chetry Speaks Peanut At CNN

I was just watching Kiran Chetry of CNN “News” deliver a story of profound news value.

Ms. Chetry is sitting on a bar stool, all pert and cheery, dressed in a short black something, alongside her partner whatshisname, and announcing as news to the world that the Planters Peanut cartoon character sales icon is no longer a silent character. The company has given him an actor’s voice.

I said to Ms. Chetry, “Don’t you feel like a fucking idiot sitting up there announcing this to the world? You’re supposed to be a professional news anchor, not a public relations flack for some jagoff peanut marketing department.”

Apparently my comment didn’t bother her an iota. She just rattled on, and was still rattling this inanity when I switched off the television.

Seeing her sitting up on that stool reminded me of the hookers who sit in the windows of Amsterdam. Which, all things considered, seems appropriate for American television news.

7 Responses

  1. 😆


    • I had to do a Mr. Peanut story once. Totally demoralizing, but there were no other “okay-mother-fuckers-stopped-being-depressed-by-all-the-bad-shit-we-just-told-you” stories. 😀


      • If it had been done as humor, sure, okay. But nope, it was a serious p.r. flack deal. It just had ‘Planters Marketing Department’ smeared all over it.


  2. But, but, but . . . that was BREAKING NEWS!!!


    • Ah, Moe, wrong tense! It’s BROKEN NEWS!!


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