Bored Lion Reveals Secret Search Engine Terms

A popular pastime among bloganadoes appears to be posting odd search engine terms that point otherwise sane people at a blog. The Lion, being bored lately, unable to concentrate, lacking energy to write anything that matters, noodled through the list of terms which drove people to Grumpy Lion. Herewith a few…

naked women drinking coffee

Not exactly an appealing picture, unless we are talking Victoria’s Secret models. Perhaps the searcher had them in mind, or perhaps he’s not so particular. After all, he/she didn’t name the brand of coffee. There is a difference in naked women drinking common  Maxwell House coffee, and naked women drinking Starbucks Verona coffee. Classier boobs, perhaps? Firmer butts? More efficient pancreatic functioning?

numbnuts streets

A particular kind of nut bearing tree lining the streets? Or perhaps the searcher sought images of low-level Mafiosi hanging out on a street in Brooklyn? Or are we dealing with an enraged and rejected woman seeking images of streets full of men doubled over in pain?

www.lion sex withn girl

Did he leave out the second ‘i’ in ‘within’? And why on earth would the searcher want to carry in his head an image of a lion ravaging a girl? Unless of course he meant The Lion, but even that is likely not to be all that pretty, and besides, The Lion’s ravaging days are done, or least the ravaging is likely to be more peaceable and take longer and thus no longer qualify as ravaging.

girl having sex with lion

If anyone has her phone number, please notify The Lion. He seems to have forgotten the incident.

giggle people

How this ended up at Grumpy Lion is beyond The Lion’s imaginative ken. Even The Lion’s Barbie is nonplussed. The Lion is simply not given to giggling. Outright, prolonged laughter a la A Thousand Clowns, yes, but giggles, no.

lions sex with little girls

Alright, that is just beyond rude, and well into criminal.

"mini wheats" clinical study

Lions are not vegetarians, or granarians, as the case may be. Who would be performing a clinical study of mini-wheats? To what end? Are they talking about those little cartoon mini-wheats on the television commercials? Someone should notify the scientists that those are cartoon characters, that they are not real, and when you go to notify those researchers, take a big net and some large gentlemen in hospital whites.

motto for grumpy people

Well at least that makes sense, though it would be nice to know what the motto is. The Lion has not got a motto, just a growl. And some rhetorical teeth.

pee

Rude.

people who giggle when they talk

The Lion tries very hard to avoid such people. Their lifestyle is most trying, and wears on The Lion’s soul. Fortunately most such people are teenagers and easily avoided. There are, though, some older  people who are simply unable to stifle giggles when discussing serious matters, such as existentialism, Kant, calculus, or dinner: most of them are no bother since they are securely locked up.

Such are the ways of the World Wide Web as it reveals the strange, glimmering depths of the human mind. It’s almost enough to drive a person to read a book, perhaps ‘The Plague’, or ‘Being and Nothingness’. Whatever.

Late entry:

lion erect info

You mean the last time? There are some things The Lion just will not discuss here.

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4 Responses

  1. Put the existentialists aside for Ken Follett’s World Without End. It’s like Camus and Sarte had a baby sans the Nothingness. 🙂

    Like

    • Hell, all the fun is in the Nothingness…

      Like

      • Pshaw. 🙂

        Like

        • That’s the cutest pshaw I’ve gotten all day.

          Like

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