How You’ll Know The Government Is Serious About Global Warming

The United States government is obviously not serious about dealing with climate change. At best it can be said to be making a token bow toward the problem.

The field is being left to the deniers from the idiot right wing of politics, deniers like the wholly owned subsidiary of any oil company with a buck to spare, Senator James Inhofe and his ilk, and the money grubbing madwoman from Alaska, Sarah Palin, whose solution to environmental problems is to shoot any animal that breathes and to drill for more oil to burn.

Be that as it may, there are certain things to watch for that will tell you that the government is finally getting serious about global warming and the environmental catastrophe barreling towards the human race and all the other species we’re intent on wiping out.

In no particular order, you’ll know the politicians are serious when:

…outdoor advertising lighting is banned and Las Vegas goes dark.

…nighttime sporting events in outdoor stadiums are banned.

…Friday night football for high schools is banned.

…the government tells NASCAR it can no longer hold races, and uses the National Guard to close the speedways and back down the rabid racing rednecks who think it’s their god-given right to pollute.

…the speed limit is dropped to no more than 40 miles per hour, maximum, on all roads.

…the government stops supporting the automobile industry and starts getting serious about true mass transit.

…the government stops subsidizing the fossil fuel industry with tax breaks and other perks.

…food plants are used for food instead of car fuel.

…coal mines are shut down and provisions are made to deal with the miners, said provisions ranging from retraining them to produce non-polluting renewable energy to simply shooting them because they’re just as dumb as the fishermen who are emptying and destroying the fish stocks in the ocean.

…air conditioning is banned except in hospitals and nursing homes.

…air conditioning is banned everywhere.

…families are restricted to having no more than one child.

…James Inhofe shuts up and starts to sweat.

The other side of this coin is that when these things start to happen, it will be too late, way too late. The pessimistic half of The Lion believes it is already too late. But the optimistic half is certain that it is too late.

Optimism aside, it should be of interest to philosophers in distant times, philosophers no doubt covered in body fur and possessing retractable claws, it should be of interest to them that the ostensibly most intelligent species on the planet was too stupid to save itself. But by the time the next philosophers evolve, all traces of the dumbest ape in the known universe will have disappeared. Inhofe, Hitler, Christ, Shakespeare; Paris, Rome, London, Moscow, New York; polar bears, pandas, elephants, cows; all dust, all ashes. To steal a quote, no one will even know they was ever there.

submit to reddit

2 Responses

  1. Then again, if we started actually taking anthropogenic global climate change seriously now, most of your proposals would not be necessary.

    I do have one to add, though: 100% tax credits for any solar powered photo electric systems or wind powered electric systems installed by a homeowner/property owner (not including those being installed by megaenergy companies to make themselves look green!). And we could pay for it by elliminating the tax breaks for coal, oil and gas companies.


    • That would leave those of us who don’t pay taxes for various reasons out in the cold, so to speak.

      As for taking it seriously, does the word ‘tokenism’ resonate for you? The fools in government think this is nothing more than a political issue. It’s never occurred to them that the laws of physics aren’t subject to political compromise and aren’t willing to sit down in a plush office to discuss an agreement satisfactory to all parties.

      Better stock up on scotch, dude. The shit’s coming and there aren’t enough fans, not by a long shot.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: