Sarah Palin Is A National Treasure. Stop Picking On Her!

It’s true. Sarah Palin, soon-to-be-erstwhile governor of Alaska, is a treasure. She should be preserved instead of being targeted by verbal snipers from the right and left.

After all, what more accurate measure can the country use to determine the number of stupid ignoramuses living in the body politic?

If we lose her, we will be in danger of losing count of the idiots passing as adult voters. As things stand now, all that needs be done is run a scientific poll asking one question: Do you support Sarah Palin for elective office? The affirmative identifies the idiots.

In fact it would be statistically interesting to overlay the people who support her with the twenty percent of Americans who believe the sun revolves around the earth, and the majority of Americans who believe evolution is false. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be that interesting, since the results are likely self-evident in the question.

Supporting Sarah Palin qualifies a person to get a big red S planted on his forehead. The S can stand for Stupid or SuperStupid, take your choice.

Perhaps when the woman learns to construct a coherent sentence and string several of them together into a meaningful statement or comment she might be considered for a job at the local burger joint.  She shouldn’t be allowed to talk with the customers though. They’ll think they’re ordering a hamburger and will walk out with a dead chicken with the feathers still on, and if they belong among her supporters they’ll think that chicken is the best thing they’ve ever bought.

Unfortunately, the best that can be hoped for is that she will stop breeding. She certainly won’t stop running for something, or stop talking and whining. When she talks she’s the intellectual and emotional equivalent of a mosquito carrying breakbone fever. You just want to slap her to stop the horrid noise and to keep yourself from getting sick.

In any case, her value as a statistical tool for counting idiots should not be misunderestimated. That Sarah Palin can be a national figure only proves the greatness of America, and also shows why the country is most likely doomed to mediocrity, if not worse.

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8 Responses

  1. I never heard of Liz Trotta before today:

    The Sheer Weirdness

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    • I seem to recall her being a reporter for one of the real networks at one time. Nice that she didn’t pull any punches in her comments here.

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  2. She should be preserved instead of being targeted by verbal snipers from the right and left.

    You don’t want me doing so from the helicopter of my blog? I won’t *kill* her. She will just be twisting in the snow. And you can still ask people, were it not for her wounds would you support her in running for the shelter of an elective office….

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    • Whaddya gonna do, Evo, throw dictionaries at her from a helicopter?

      Come to think of it, I like that idea. Maybe you could throw a couple of grammars and usage books at her too.

      Then we can coop her up in an animal shelter, in one of the dog pens. Solitary confinement, of course, so she won’t bite the others and give them whatever her disease is.

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  3. Are you sure the dead chickens aren’t turkeys? She seemed pretty fond of turkey farms last fall.

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    • Actually she was at that turkey farm because she felt right at home there.

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  4. Nobody picks on her, they just listen to what she says, watch what she does, and report it. That’s not picking on someone, that’s honesty.

    And the press never got into the real meat: secessionism, radical dominionism, etc. They went (and are still going) easy on her.

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    • Half of them probably have fantasies of banging her. I think John ‘Bomb Bomb’ McCain did. Have the fantasies, that is. Hard to be objective when you have to hold your notepad in front of your fly.

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