Grumpy Lion Takes Credit For Ortiz and Iranian Twitterness

The Lion can now claim credit for a couple of major positive changes in the world.

Recently The Lion viciously and vilely attacked David Ortiz of the Red Sox for taking a thirteen million dollar annual salary and utterly failing to do his job.

Almost immediately thereafter Mr. Ortiz started hitting the baseball again. In real games. Obviously The Lion’s penetrating and incisive remarks were responsible for Mr. Ortiz’s resurgence.

Also recently The Lion characterized 99.9 percent of Twitter matter as useless Twittershit. Almost immediately thereafter Iran erupted in protest and upheaval and the Iranian government clamped down on virtually all news and imagery. Twitter provided one of the few means of getting news out to the world. Bravo Twitter!

Obviously The Lion’s powerful criticism prompted a turnaround in Twitterdom, persuading it to demonstrate some semblance of usefulness in the world. The percentage of useless Twittermatter is now down to about 99.5 percent, but The Lion is certain it will rise back to its previous unchallenged height once the Iranians have settled their political business.

In view of these two stunning developments, The Lion awards himself the Ego of the Month Award, with Double Snarls and a Silver Claw.

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much!

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4 Responses

  1. You know, the weather has been getting increasingly shitty around here, lately. Lot more rain than we should be having this time of the year. Can’t use my pool yet, it’s so cold.

    How about a little post on the weather?


    • I haven’t worked out how to motivate inanimate items yet. On the other hand, Ortiz’s bat was pretty much inanimate…

      Take heart. The weather is pretty much the same here. The saving grace is that it just might keep the tourists away, thus saving me the cost of ammunition this year.


  2. Why only one Silver Claw? What’d you do with the other one?


    • I’m saving it in case I ever get a girlfriend. One for her, one for me.


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