The Atheist Thirteen Meme

Normally The Lion refuses to do memes. Principles, you know. Plus the fact that they clutter up The Lion’s den and ooze all over the old bones and other memorabilia. But The Lion’s imaginary girlfriend said to do this one just to get out of the den for a while and stop grumping around. (The Lion is thinking he might replace her with an imaginary redhead with nice… never mind.)

Q1. How would you define “atheism”?

Coffee, black, no cream, no sugar. Expand the metaphor to the universe.

Q2. Was your upbringing religious? If so, what tradition?

The Lion went to Sunday School for a while. He was baptized Episcopalian but was too young to know more than to spit the water back at the priest. As in all else in The Lion’s life, the tradition was Haphazard.

Q3. How would you describe “Intelligent Design”, using only one word?

Intellidiocy.

Q4. What scientific endeavour really excites you?

At this point an artificially intelligent artificial woman who feels like the real thing would get The Lion pretty excited. A real one might give him a heart attack.

Q5. If you could change one thing about the “atheist community”, what would it be and why?

Having a wild party at The Lion’s den at least once a month. Lots of women. Or just one who’s really wild.

Q6. If your child came up to you and said “I’m joining the clergy”, what would be your first response?

Ingrateful little twit. Go get a real job. Or become a real actor.

Q7. What’s your favourite theistic argument, and how do you usually refute it?

God exists.

Piss off.

Q8. What’s your most “controversial” (as far as general attitudes amongst other atheists goes) viewpoint?

Right now The Lion would rather get laid than discuss atheism. That seems controversial enough.

Q9. Of the “Four Horsemen” (Dawkins, Dennett, Hitchens and Harris) who is your favourite, and why?

The Lion refuses to play favorites. It takes too much thinking. It makes his little pussy brain hurt.

Q10. If you could convince just one theistic person to abandon their beliefs, who would it be?

So many wankers, so little time. There’s this cute little Jehovah’s Witness works near here. The Lion would love to convince her to… umm, sorry, mixing memes.

And that’s that. You are all welcome to this meme. Please, take it away. Do what you will with her… no, wait, that’s the JW girl… religion is so confusing.

 

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8 Responses

  1. Why does that song by Todd Rundgren keep popping into my brain: “We Gotta get You A Woman”?

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  2. I dunno. Can’t think of any reason for that to happen. Nope. Not a one.

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  3. In response to your general theme and, in particular, Q4, hope might well be on the horizon

    for the Lion.

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  4. Yes!!!

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  5. Q4: What’s wrong with a naturally intelligent woman? (((Wife))) is naturally intelligent, and she married me (which (some claim) would argue against her intelligence). And if she ‘feels like the real thing,’ does that mean that, once a month (keep in mind I have (((Wife))) and (((Daughter))) living here at home, so I know whereof I speak) she becomes EVIL (maybe SI or Ex would be willing to elucidate upon the meaning(s) of that word)?

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  6. () –

    Now there’s a thought. The robotic engineers could program in a couple of days of evil every month for an even more lifelike experience. 🙂

    Actually there’s nothing wrong with an intelligent woman. I like them. I just haven’t come across any combination of intelligence and attractiveness and proximity and sense of humor and nice personality that works for me. Friends, yes, but nothing beyond. Plus, of course, I don’t exactly play well with others and sometimes run with scissors. Not exactly in my prime either. And there’s the cats to consider. Lots of allergic women out there. (Is it me or is it my cats?) And do you know how hard it is to find a woman who plays a decent game of backgammon?

    And, don’t get out much, don’t have much money, not unhappy with my own company, unlikely to become famous, rich or powerful. Hell, I can’t even afford a robotess, much less a Lioness.

    🙂

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  7. Well, hell, Ric: you could just take whatever is ‘lion’ around, right? Backgammon? Isn’t that kinda like Acey-Duecy? And if you play it naked, would that be an ‘indecent’ game of Backgammon?

    (((Wife))) dope slapped me when she read my previous post. That’s one nice thing about cats. They can’t dope slap you. Although, I find it amazing that, with an even number of toes (forward facing ‘finger’-style toes, that is), they can still give me the finger. Cats, not (((Wife))).

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  8. () –

    Bad puns, okay, I can handle that. But insulting Backgammon? You’re treading on very thin (((ice))).

    And one does not play Backgammon naked. One can, however, play it to get naked. Interesting times, interesting times…

    You should probably be thankful that (((Wife))) only dope slapped you. Given your podiatric history, she could have dope kicked you.

    Like

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