The Grumpy Contest. Enter Now! Win Big Prizes! Yay!

The Lion has been feeling burned out lately on politics and wars and economics and all the stuff going on in the States and the world and in the state of the world. The Lion’s sensors feel fried. The news all sounds the same, looks the same, and a more cynical person would say it’s all blah blah blah.

In an effort to revive The Lion’s sensitivities, he is sponsoring a contest. It’s free. No entry fees, no gimmicks. No prizes either (the headline is a lie).

All you have to do is tell The Lion what you would like to see him write about. Don’t send a long, complex request. Just a sentence or two, or a word or two. The Lion will turn it into one of his inimitable pieces of literate…fanginess.

Your reward, should you choose to accept it, will be to see the beacon of hope igniting neurons in The Lion’s brain as he charges once more into the fray. Otherwise The Lion’s brain may self-destruct in five seconds.

Some requests will not be acceptable. Porn, for example (private consultations available). Silly political ideas, such as why George Bush is the greatest president in the history of the country. You get the idea.

A really clever suggestion might merit a Fangie Award, but no promises.

All proceeds will go to The Lion’s new expatriate fund, to be used in case of an emergency in November.

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10 Responses

  1. Rick,

    Will make it very simple.

    * Hilary Clinton – Power hungry women trying to win nomination by lying lying lying.
    * Bush – Believe Iraq a real success.
    * McCain – Wants to stay in Iraq for 100 years.

    Chose any of the above with your humor, it will be good to read and smile and release my own stress.

    Like

  2. Hmmm.. what books or music are you enjoying at the moment.

    And/or what are your interests outside of politics? Is there anything you’re feeling especially passionate about at the moment?

    Like

  3. QB –

    Welcome back!

    o girl –

    Let me clarify (I know I’m losing my edge when I need to clarify…) To enter this fake contest you need to offer a topic, something, anything, you’d like to see me write about. It’s not so much that I haven’t things I could write about. It’s more about the challenge of fielding balls hit to center field. Or about exploring unopened doors in a strange house. Possibly even scaring myself. Or needing to go off the rails for a bit. Or catching baseballs hit through closed doors on strange and scary railroads.

    Like

  4. Hillary Clinton running for President as a Republican in 2012

    Jaguar being sold to an Indian company “Tata Motors” (This actually happened)

    Florida’s recent “nipplegate” where they airbrushed out the nipples of men on a WWE banner

    Why it’s a sin to do anything to something in a womb, but once it’s out you can do anything like molest it, indoctrinate it, endanger it by preventing it get condoms or birth control or vaccines or any kind of proper education, and of course kill it by denying it life saving medical care.

    Like

  5. Oh, and of course there’s that story yesterday about the guy in OH who got caught fucking his picnic table.

    Like

  6. The liklihood that Hillary knows she won’t be the nominee, but stays in the race to insure the destruction of Obama in the General Election so she can say “I told you so” and then run again in 4 years.

    Like

  7. Ric: How about a personal history post: what (or whom) do you consider the single most important influence upon your life, or (to put it more bluntly) who do your credit (or blame) for who you are now?

    Or, another idea, why do you live in a place with nine months of shitty weather, and three months of traffic jams?

    Like

  8. Ric, How about writing about innocent people on death row? A good example is the Kernny Richey case.

    Like

  9. oops, typo, Kenny Richey

    Like

  10. Oh, that contest.

    Like

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