Speaking Of The Inquisition And Other Absurdities Of The Catholic Church…

While the United States sinks into ethical and moral depths that any good Pope would approve of, the Church itself has decided to hurl itself back into the Dark Ages by supporting the expansion of its Exorcist Corps.

No less a Big Hat than John Paul II supported the effort, and was himself ‘an occasional demon chaser’. Was that with water, Johnny, or soda?

Pope Benedict XVI, the current Big Hat, known to his friends and the cognoscenti as Joey Ratz, has accelerated the process, and a Catholic University in Rome ‘began offering exorcism classes in 2005 and has drawn students from around the globe.’

The village of Poczernin, Poland, will become a ‘spiritual oasis’ when a Satan-hating priest finishes building the only center in Europe dedicated to  performing exorcisms.

The priest, Andrzej Trojanowski, known in the inner circles of exorcists as Christ’s Condom, has been pumping demons out of souls for four years.

But CC is a piker compared to the top demonologist, one Reverend Gabriele Amorth, who is 82 years old and who exorcises daily in Rome.

Amorth clearly identifies his targets.

Typical cases, he said, include people who turn away from the church and embrace New Age therapies, alternative religions or the occult. Internet addicts and yoga devotees are also at risk, he said.

The Lion, in the spirit of full disclosure, notes that he is somewhat addicted to the Internet, at one time taught yoga, occasionally toys with New Age nonsense, and for a while performed the evil act of astrology. Further, The Lion, in the spirit to which he has become accustomed while addictively blogging, says to old Gabe Amorth, “Bring it on, old man! My demons will beat you to pulp!” On the other hand, perhaps a nice exorcism will make The Lion more attractive to the ladies and he can get laid once more before he dies. Gabe, let’s do lunch, baby!

Unfortunately, a priest named Wieslaw Jankowski who works for a counseling center called the Institute for Studies on the Family, outside Warsaw, gives away the game.

Jankowski cited the case of a woman who asked for a divorce days after renewing her wedding vows as part of a marriage counseling program. What was suspicious, he said, was how the wife suddenly developed a passionate hatred for her husband.

“According to what I could perceive, the devil was present and acting in an obvious way,” he said. “How else can you explain how a wife, in the space of a couple of weeks, could come to hate her own husband, a man who is a good person?”

The man obviously knows absolutely nothing about marriage or women. How can he possibly understand demons and devils when he has no clue about women? (The Lion notes that he does not consider women to be demonic or devilish – though there was that one little blonde… never mind – but merely means to imply that understanding complexity is not within the ken of these men.)

And finally, there’s this:

Exorcists said they are careful not to treat people suffering from mental illness, and that they regularly consult with psychologists and physicians. At the same time, they said, conventional medical therapy often neglects spiritual ailments.

How would an exorcist know if someone was mentally ill? Did they never notice that all the people in the asylums generally think the other patients are okay and it’s the outsiders who are nuts?

And guess what, guys, conventional medical therapy treats real ailments, not the imaginings and delusions of odd men who see demons everywhere, choose to ball little boys, and in two thousand years have not developed a single clue to understanding women.

Now, really, can the rebirth of the Inquisition be far behind? Is that part of Joey Ratz’s master plan?

Say it ain’t so, Joe!

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