Bush Is Brilliant! Brilliant!

George W. Bush, reputed to be the President of the United States of America because he gets to fly around in a big 747 jet, has been bouncing around the Middle East these last few days, demonstrating why the United States is fortunate to have the little fella as its leader.

A story from the Washington Post, printed in the Globe this morning, written by Michael Abramowitz, tracks Mr. B’s travels through Saudi Arabia.

Some of the President’s precious and prescient sayings are worth repeating, and The Lion simply cannot pass the opportunity to add them to the blogosphere, along with an admiring comment or two.

Hanging out with the King of one of the biggest oil producers in the history of the world, Saudi Arabia (clever readers will remember that they donated fifteen hijackers to the September 11 effort in 2001), Mr. B, discussing high oil prices, noted:

“What’s happened is, is that demand for energy has outstripped new supply. And that’s why there’s high price.”

The man’s grasp of economics is stunning, is utterly profound. Note also the grammatical subtlety in ‘there’s high price’ – quietly suggesting the unity of oil and price by not saying ‘prices’. A person might further admire his absolute refusal to compromise the United States by taking any action to reduce demand by Americans, thereby neatly putting the onus where he thinks it belongs, on the producers. Brilliant!

Further on, when reporters moved the subject to the recent dust-up in the Persian Gulf between three United States Navy capital ships and five off-the-rack speedboats from Iran, Mr. B demonstrated his stunning diplomatic resolve and his grasp of recent history when he said:

“It’s not going to matter to me one way or the other if they hit our ships, and the Iranian government has got to understand that,” he said. “This is serious business. We lost lives when one of those boats loaded with explosives attacked us – called the USS Cole.”

Notice how cleverly he shifted the onus of the attacks from poor little Yemen, the country where the attack on the Cole happened, to Iran, thus burdening the Iranian government, which Mr. B has constantly and correctly pointed out is not exactly like the United States, with a terrorist attack on the Cole, in which Iran played no part. A stunning reversal, an incredible feat of diplomatic jujitsu! Brilliant!

And finally, he had this to say about the intelligence services of the United States, all sixteen of them, who recently agreed unanimously that Iran stopped its nuclear weapons programs in 2003:

The estimate concerned many of the countries that Bush is visiting on his trip, and Bush said he spent time discussing Iran with his counterparts. The president said he made clear to his hosts that he still views Iran as a threat and seemed to put a little distance between him and his intelligence services.

“I defended our intelligence services, but made it clear that they’re an independent agency; that they come to conclusions separate from what I may or may not want,” he said.

Citizens of the United States must be simply stunned and amazed at this statement, at the sheer bravado and daring and determination of Mr. B as he places his unutterably profound and unquestionable intellect above the work of mere bureaucrats snugged away in the intelligence services. The man is born leader, a mind for the ages, a legend being born! Brilliant, just brilliant!

It would not do justice to Mr. B to fail to mention that he has gone to the Middle East to finally settle, once and for all, and for all time, the nettling question of relations between his friends the Israelis and those other people with whom there is a dispute, the Palestinians. Mr B. has told the Palestinians in no uncertain terms that the matter must be settled by the end of the year. Such forcefulness, such forthrightness, such righteous certainty by this man just simply guarantees that there will be peace in the Middle East by January 2009. That’s simply beyond question. The man is brilliant! Brilliant!

And finally, while Mr. B was conducting his press conference, his Israeli friends killed seventeen Palestinians with air strikes. Also, a car bomb in Beirut, Lebanon, destroyed a United States Embassy car and killed four people. It should be noted that only 21 United States troops died last month, along with 476 Iraqi civilians.



15 Responses

  1. He’s either incredibly stupid or diabolically brilliant.


  2. Or possibly diabolically stupid…


  3. Yeah, that too.


  4. Yep, I go with Diabolically stupid.


  5. Let’s not leave out incredibly diabolic. Though he may be too stupid for that.


  6. Brilliant! Brilliant! post


  7. Thank you. I thought so too…



  8. I thought you were far too kind. Now it’s going to go to his head, and he’ll be telling everybody he sees that Ric thinks he’s brilliant.

    You may be creating a monster.


  9. SI:

    He may try to quote Ric, but it’ll come out:

    A brilliant lion on the internets says I’m grumpy. And then he’ll laugh.


  10. You guys have figured out my insidious plan to topple Bush. Heh-heh-heh!


  11. Don’t worry. Its all part of his plan to make sure kralizec (sorry, reading the latest Dune, I mean armageddon) comes before the end of his presidency. That way he can personally take credit for the second coming of christ.

    So can Ric’s insidious plan to topple Bush come to fruition before Bush initiates armageddon? Enguiring minds want to know.

    In the meanwhile, armageddon out of here.


  12. I’m not sure why you think I need fruit to topple Bush, but you should be warned that under the new regime you may be gotten to a punnery for gross and open punning.


  13. As long as its a Unitarian punnery. More fun that way. Or so I’ve heard. From a friend. Yeah. A friend.


  14. That’s what all the Unitarians say.


  15. “that they come to conclusions separate from what I may or may not want”

    Wow. Stupid or brilliant, he always does manage to say so much in so few words.


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