New Hampshire Motto ‘Live Free Or Die’ Is For Wimps, Quitters, and Cowards

A confluence of little things set both of The Lion’s mental gears in motion this morning.

Yesterday over at Atheist Hornet, in the comments on a post about Candidate Huckabee, there was some talk about resistance and emigration if the country should put another Republican religious fundogelical in the White House. As a side note, that cheeky Hornet fellow, who mistakenly believes The Lion is an old fart*, put up a post on H. 888, with good links, a House resolution that is full of distortions and lies promulgated by the Christian freaky fundos. Expect more of the same dangerous idiocy if a Republican gets the White House.

And of course New Hampshire is now full of the political elites – the has-beens, the wannabes, the lunatic fringe, and the religious unhinged.

And then on page A12 of today’s Globe there was this comment by the aforementioned Candidate Huckabee.

Huckabee, like Romney, has retooled his message for New Hampshire, shedding some of his overt appeals to the social conservatives and evangelicals that powered his Iowa win and talking instead about freedom and liberty.

“Your state motto, ‘Live Free or Die,’ really exemplifies the very heart of America,” the former Arkansas governor said yesterday at a Londonderry school.

Now The Lion has never cared for the New Hampshire state motto. It sounds arrogant, as if New Hampshireians, or -ites, are the only ones who like being free. Supposedly the words imply that NHians will fight for their freedom and are willing to die in the attempt. But it doesn’t say that. It says ‘die’.

It doesn’t stand up. “Live Free or Die”? Do those people think that if they lose their freedom they will simply lie down and die? Sure sounds like it. The Lion supposes that such thinking worked for the Jim Jones crew down in Guyana. When the demon Arab terrorists take over New Hampshire, apparently all those white conservatives up there will drink funky Kool-Aid and pass on to the Great Nothing.

It strikes The Lion that a more appropriate motto might be “Live Free or Fight”. Now there’s speech with some spunk and some hope, something with the spirit of “Don’t Tread On Me” wrapped in a rattlesnake.

On the other hand, given the last seven years, it may well be that the true spirit of America is to lay down and die when political radicals, right-wing religious freaks, and power-hungry corporatists and fascists rip away American democracy and freedom.

The Lion supposes that if a rowboat filled with al Qaeda operatives attacked the New Hampshire coast, the natives would charge out and beat them to death with shovels and pitchforks and then crow about how they saved America.

But let some Republican President, whose only competencies are fear-mongering, incompetence, and corruption rip away American freedoms and rights in the name of a bogus war, and those same New Hampshire folk just meekly say, “Oh, okay, we’ll just die now, because that’s what we do. Our motto says so.”

Since no one else will speak truth to New Hampshire, The Lion feels obligated to remonstrate against their motto, and demand that they change it for the good of America and to restore their reputation as nasty folk who bite the foot on their neck.

If not, The Lion has a large stock of Kool-Aid-like substances, available at quite nice rates. Please remember to show your wimp ID when ordering.


[*The Lion will admit only to being an intelligent, nice-looking fellow of middle age who occasionally has been rumored to fart.]


12 Responses

  1. And I suppose that rumors of your farts have been greatly exaggerated?


  2. Absolutely, Spanqi, absolutely! Especially that rumor about fifty-three people fainting in the supermarket. It’s rumored that Exterminator started that one. I suspect he was merely trying to cover his own… emanations.


  3. See, I’ve always interpreted the NH motto in a different way, as a threat: Live Free or Die (you non-free-living bastard)!

    It’s kind of like Bush spreading democracy.


  4. Or possibly Take welfare or die!… or Dumpster dive or die!… or Rob banks or die!.


  5. Hey, Ex, where’s the damn owl?


  6. Well, I finally got the damn owl on the wing. I guess he wanted to wait until dark before he came out.


  7. fundogelical

    I haven’t heard that one before. I’ll have to add it to my vocabulary, which I really should expand beyond words of the four-letter variety.


  8. Chappie –

    Either it’s early onset mental failure of undetermined nature or you haven’t been reading The Lion religiously. For example, here, next to last paragraph.


  9. Ex-

    Nice owl! What do you feed it?


  10. Ah, yes, it seems I breezed right past the word in the earlier post.


  11. Ric:
    What do you feed it?
    Baby fundamentalists.


  12. Ex –

    Do you mean fundamentalist babies?

    Not exactly Swiftian, but useful nonetheless. I prefer mine with a medium salsa, followed by a nice dry vermouth.


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