American Kids Trained To Take Tests Can’t Even Do That Right

No Child Left Behind, the Bush boondoggle exercise in stupid education policy, was supposed to standardize education across the nation.

Apparently it’s done its job. The American Kid has been standardized right down to mediocrity. Kids forced to study to pass standardized tests can’t even do that very well, according to a short piece in the Globe today.

Fifteen-year-olds from thirty countries took a test that focused on science, with a segment on math.

The average scores for US students were lower than the average scores for the group as a whole. US students also had an average science score that was lower than the average score in 16 other OECD countries. In math, US students did even worse, posting an average score that was lower than the average in 23 of the other leading industrialized countries. (AP)

All that money and effort, boring kids to death by teaching them to take tests, wasted.

Of course we mustn’t forget the contribution of those leading lights of intelligence and excellence, the Christians, who have so heavy handedly pushed for their ignorant, anti-science, anti-intellectual crapdoodle to be taught in the science classroom. Fortunately saner heads have prevailed most of the time. Unfortunately too many science teachers have let themselves be cowed by these arrogant, loudmouthed morons and simply skip teaching evolution, and apparently anything else the religious idiots don’t like.

They’ve put American education on a par with Mohammed the Teddy Bear.

So when your kid comes up stupid, you might want to march right down to the local fundogelical church and piss on their front door. You know, establish a little territoriality, as in “Outside your front door, you morons, we live in the twenty-first century. Inside, you can continue to live in the fifth or sixth or eleventh. Just stay there. The world can’t afford your ignorant nonsense anymore.”

While you’re at it, maybe you could pee on the shrubbery too. Just for effect. Make it look bad, you know?


14 Responses

  1. I have a great video for you. Yes it’s funny. If you don’t like, the next one’s free.


  2. That’s a riot!!


  3. You know, Ric, you had me so worked up with this, that I was all ready to head downtown to the cathedral to take a leak on the front steps, when I remembered my shy bladder. I would have been standing there with my dick out, trying desperately to exercise my first amendment rights, and I’d probably get arrested for public lewdness.

    I figured it wasn’t worth it, but it’s the thought that counts.

    Count me on your side.


  4. Spanqi, you got me laughing so hard that I almost peed my pants, but fortunately I was able to get to the church in time.


  5. Grumpy:
    I’ve come up with a noun for the act of pissing on a church: grumptism. The verb, of course, is grumptize.

    Why don’t you just keep a bottle handy for when you do need to pee, and then you can use the contents for the grumptism later?


  6. I love it when a plan comes together! Bottles for all! Meeting at a church to be announced later.

    And now we can add grumpisms to the language.


  7. No, Grumpy, you’ve got to type more carefully.

    A grumpism is any post or comment by Grumpy Lion.
    A grumptism is the act of pissing on a church.
    And a cirgrumpcision is a particularly cutting post here.

    For example, you might say that in your Dec. 7 post on Mitzi’s speech, Romney has been cirgrumpcised.


  8. Ooh, cirgrumpcision sounds really painful!


  9. The original was no walk in the park either.


  10. Ex. As a connoisseur of the English language, it won’t be long before you out-Shakespeare Shakespeare with additional new words.


  11. Ex :

    Actually I was going for a grumpstration of Romney, but a cirgrumpcision will do.


  12. At my kids high school (a small (118 in my son’s senior class (he is ranked 8 (sorry, I know I shouldn’t brag, but . . .)), underfunded school which is, nevertheless, ranked in the top 10% by USN&WR (and immediately one local radio blowhard said, okay, the schools are better than they need to be, we’re paying to much in school taxes)) when the day comes for standardized tests, some kids are gently asked to be sick that day, while others (including my kids) are asked to be there no matter how sick, as long as they are conscious. Oddly, the test prep classes are more on test taking strategy than the actual information. Despite that, my kids am still larning.

    So, if I piss out a window onto the front steps of a church, would that be a defenesgrumptation? (and yes, some buildings in my little (40k people) city are so close together, you could most likely do it).


  13. It’s good to larn in spite of how they’re larning ya.

    I like defenesgrumptation. Let’s see what the arbiter Ex thinks.


  14. Would disGrumptablishmentarianism then be the movement to take the piss out of the church?


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