Governor Perdue Of Georgia Prays For Rain, Misses Great Opportunity

Governor Sonny Perdue, of chicken fame perhaps, got up on the steps of the Georgia State Capitol building yesterday and prayed out loud to god to bring rain to his drought stricken state. Choirs sang in the background.

God saw fit to not come down and pee on Georgia for dragging him into earthly politics.

Hey, Sonny, maybe you’re going about it all wrong. Maybe you’re supposed to talk to god through your hair dryer.

In any event, Perdue and his superstitious entourage missed a great opportunity.

Why not call in the Indians from the region and have them do up a rain dance? Feathers, tom-toms, chanting, the whole magilla. They’re probably a lot better at that sort of thing, living so close to nature and all when they’re not running casinos somewhere.

Oh, wait. They might not be interested. After all, it was white Christians like Perdue and his crew that in the name of their god rained slaughter and death on the Indians back in the day.

Back then it was “Come on, god, help us slaughter the heathen and drench the ground in their blood.”

Now it’s “Come on, god, drench the ground in your holy pee, ’cause we’re thirsty and our lawns are drying up.”

Good ol’ god, the universal tool, useful for whatever you want to do. Murder, genocide, green lawns, fat chickens, it’s all the same, ain’t it, Sonny?


3 Responses

  1. Hey! What’s wrong with a rain dance? This is Atlanta, home of the Braves, right?

    If that doesn’t work, maybe they could scalp a few bureaucrats, the ones in charge of water management policy.


  2. Damn, I forgot about the Braves. But they aren’t really native to there, didn’t they come from Milwaukee? If they do a rain dance in Georgia, it will rain in Wisconsin.

    Life is so confusing.


  3. You would think it might occur to some theist that perhaps the reason god doesn’t get around to causing rain where needed– especially when called upon so sweetly and in such great numbers– is because he is entirely to busy blessing people worldwide for every individual sneeze.

    Perhaps the Governor should have asked everyone, not to conserve water, but to stop saying “God bless you!” every time someone sneezes. Some sort of statewide policy to “free god up” for the big stuff like stopping drought in Georgia– to say nothing of Darfur, Iraq, and other parts of the world plagues by far more serious problems.

    Then again, you’d think god had his priorities straight.


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