Bin Laden Can’t Get It Up, According To Bush Cutie

From the endless fount of juvenile thinking that is the White House, Ben Feller of the AP offers the following lead in a page two story in the Globe today:

Seemingly taunting Osama bin Laden, President Bush’s homeland security adviser said yesterday that the fugitive Al Qaeda leader is “virtually impotent” beyond his ability to hide and spread anti-American propaganda.

Francis Fragos Townsend is the adviser who was out there on the talk show circuit yesterday calling OBL a limpie. Her repeated use of the phrase ‘virtually impotent’ pretty much guarantees that she was attacking his manhood as well as his political condition.

Why else put another Republican spokeschippie out there to smear the man? Look at her. She’s pretty. She’s photogenic. Even an atheistic liberal like the Grumpy Lion would like to jump her bones if he didn’t know her politics. The Bushies apparently have a house stocked with these dames. Dana Perino’s another. Why is Bush fronting his administration with cute little chippies? Maybe he’s got a problem with his impotence and is overcompensating? Another fragment of the big lie that is his life and administration?

Apparently the big thinkers in the White House feel that insulting bin Laden will piss him off and drive him into making a mistake that will lead to his capture or demise.

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The problem is that OBL most likely doesn’t care what some Bush chippie says about his sexuality. For the Bushies to think a ploy like this would work, the strategists in the White House have to believe that bin Laden would want to bang this dame and therefore would feel insulted by her puerile remark. I suspect Bush and his pals have been watching too many TV dramas. And what makes them think bin Laden is sitting there worrying about his sex life? After all, he’s not the guy who showed up on an aircraft carrier in front of the whole world wearing a codpiece.

And she’s wrong about him politically.

The consensus of the nation’s top intelligence analysts is that bin Laden’s terrorist network is anything but impotent.

And let’s face it, even if the Bush people won’t, no matter what happens with bin Laden, the United States can’t beat him.

If the US kills him, he’s a martyr and more thousands of jihadists will take up his banner.

If the US captures and imprisons him, he’s a martyr and more thousands of jihadists will take up his cause.

If the US never lays a finger on him, more thousands of jihadists will flock to his fight.

Now the Lion would be more than happy to explain all this to Ms. Townsend. It would take all night most likely. But before she would be allowed to gain the insight and experience the Lion offers, she would have to renounce Bush and his policies.

The Lion is quite picky about such things, which unfortunately impacts his social life. But the Lion suspects that bin Laden isn’t getting any either.

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