Vick Finds Jesus

We should have seen it coming. In his little mea culpa Michael Vick announced to the world that he had found Jesus, who was apparently missing. He said he found God, too, if I understood him correctly.

Well, we’re glad that’s cleared up. Perhaps he’ll get credit from the judge for his good work in finding those two missing miscreants.

Naturally his discovery had absolutely nothing to do with an attempt to salvage his multi-million dollar career and his bloodied image. No sir, not a thing, not one little bit.

And that bit about his actions being ‘immature’? Oh, that was priceless. He’s not such a bright boy, after all. He has confused immaturity with sociopathy. Let’s all chip in for a big dictionary that he can take to bed on those long prison nights.

Maybe he can look up ‘public relations spin’ and ‘hypocrisy’ when he’s not dreaming of savaging and killing dogs.

And oh yeah, don’t you just love the way the mainstream commentators are just eating up his little apology speech? Suddenly he’s an okay guy again.

Tell that to the dead dogs, morons.

3 Responses

  1. Vick is going by the alcoholic celebrity handbook, playing this off like an unavoidable private struggle that has been thrown into the public light – and the media are eating it up! They’re so damn used to these type of speeches now that they don’t stop to ask questions.

    THIS WAS NOT A DISORDER! THIS WAS A PREMEDITATED, CONSCIOUS ACTION. There is nothing accidental about torturing and killing dogs, hiring help to do it, renting space and supplies, providing funds to wager on the results, or hiding it from the police.


    If we’re lucky, maybe someone in prison will take the opportunity to treat Vick the way Vick treated his dogs.


  2. On a lighter note…. maybe this is setting us up for a real-life “Longest Yard?”


  3. The Grumpy One said: “Perhaps he’ll get credit from the judge for his good work in finding those two missing miscreants.”

    May I add, from the general public, prison administrators, parole board, parole officer, etc.

    This is a well known move for convicts and it has paid off, relentlessly, for many decades.

    And… “And that bit about his actions being ‘immature’? Oh, that was priceless.”

    I was thinking the same as I heard him. Hmmmm… I’ve known a LOT of “immature” people over the years. Never was that immaturity defined by animal torture.

    But, hey… maybe Jeffrey Dahmer and David Berkowitz were “immature” too, since I believe both were said to have tortured animals as children.


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